


I Need More Dreams, And Less Life

by breadbin



Category: Original Work
Genre: Dysphoria, I'm Sorry, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 22:40:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6726310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadbin/pseuds/breadbin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lil short thing about a highschool trans boy who's quite frankly had enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need More Dreams, And Less Life

It's such a small statement that sends him over the edge. Just three words. _"That's my girlfriend."_

He waits until his significant other enters the classroom to quickly walk to the bathroom, trying his best to avoid looking at the sign on the door as he knows that will just make him feel worse. After quickly scanning and finding that the bathroom is empty and he _breaks._ In the back of his mind he registers that people might hear him but at this point he _doesn't give a sh*t._ The tears are hot and pouring down his face and he grits his teeth down hard as he lets the ugly sobs escape him. Why does he have to be like this? Why can't he just be what everyone wants him to be? Why can't he be a _normal, pretty, quiet, **girl.**_ It's such a simple thing to do so why can't he do it? He has nothing else left to lose, no one ever payed attention to him as a girl anyway, so why does it matter to him so much? Could it be the constant misgendering and dead-naming he gets from his dearest friend, or his mothers silence, or his sisters transphobia? Why does he feel like such a freak in his own house or in the company of his friends? He's out to most of them anyway. " _So why can't they accept me, sure they say they do but I sure as hell don't see it so WHAT IS THE POINT.", h_ e mutters bitterly.

Sighing, he reaches up to grab some toilet paper to dry his tear streaked face and his eyes fall on the sign on the stall door. " _ **Ladies, please dispose your menstrual products in the trashcan and not down the toilet"**_

The word _ladies_ is running laps in his mind and he hates it, he hates that sign with a vengeance and springs up from his position on the tiled floor and starts punching the door, fist landing on the bold word **_"Ladies"_** every time. He's crying again and the mangled sound coming from his throat is horrifying.

_"That's my girlfriend" **WHAM**_

_"You're a beautiful woman" **WHAM**_

_"This is my oldest daughter Denise" **WHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAMWHAM**  
_

He can't do this anymore, he has to leave before he makes an even bigger fool of himself. And in a dirty school bathroom of all places.

 _"Fuck this"_ , he thinks as he unlocks the bathroom door, swinging his bookbag onto his shoulder. He doesn't care that he's not allowed to leave school premises, he just needs to leave, to be by himself where he can think.

Breaking into a jog he pushes the double doors open, ignoring the teacher behind him yelling for him to get back inside this instant. He's sprinting now, doubling it towards the road. He'll walk home, he decides. The road is fairly empty and his mind is racing so he jogs on the yellow lines. He's almost to the bend of the road, thick green trees obscuring his vision. That's what you get for living in the country I guess. He's walking with his head down and is deep in thought when suddenly he hears the loud blaring of a horn followed by a screeching he can only assume is someone slamming on the brakes. He snaps his head up and has a split second to think " _Shit."_ as the crunch of body and metal combining reverberates through the trees. 

_Finally_

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not sure what this was supposed to be, but I had some feelings that needed to get out and now they're out there, on the Internet. If any of you feel like you can't win or feel alone just know that there is always someone who understands what you're going through. I may not be on A03 all the time but if anyone ever needs someone to just listen, I can be there.


End file.
